Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. Phil 1:3

This post is a very emotional one that I have been sitting on for a couple of days. Mostly because when I think about it, I start crying... But also, because I don't want to allow it to shame me or anyone else, or make us feel guilty. 

Last week, a dear friend passed away. We went to high school together and he was only 28. I am not able to be there to say final goodbyes and to hug our friends and his family, and this is tearing me up. He was an amazing man, and always knew just how to make everyone else feel better by bringing a smile to their face, or a laugh from their belly. He was one of a kind and I will cherish every memory of him. He bravely served our country, and loved his daughter and his wife dearly. Anyone who ever met him, loved him, it was inevitable. 

Because I went to a very small school, where only 12 people were in my graduating class, relationship will always be a massive part of my memories from school. Friendships forged, tears shared, laughs remembered, and so many crazy talks about the deep places of our hearts. I wouldn't trade those memories and bonds for anything. The pain I feel is due to the relationships we were given the unique opportunity to develop.  

My regret lies in the after. In a world where we "keep in touch" by following each other's posts and pictures, that level of relationship is being lost. We no longer see the deep places and share the tears... We see the fun and the "perfect" parts of each other's lives, no longer feeling the pain of each other's heartaches and glory of the dreams. We only see what we want others to think or the perception of the joy felt and that is the depth of our superficial connections. My heart yearns for the days of high school when we talked about things we thought we knew, boys, love, futures, dreams, heartbreak. 

Our generation thinks we have an advantage because of technology, but really, we are at the greatest disadvantage. We know what life was like before facebook and texting took over our interactions with each other. But, we don't let our hearts remember. We have forgotten that to truly live is to forge bonds of friendship that stand the test of time. Our hearts search for interaction on the screen of our phones or computers and come up short. Where have the heart connections gone? Why does my heart long so deeply for them? Because we were created for relationship. We were created because God wanted fellowship. Put the phone down and talk to Him. 

Keenan Wofford, you are dearly and deeply missed, my friend. Thank you for loving everyone and bringing joy to the hearts of everyone you met. In your honor, I will begin to reconnect with people and put down my phone. I will make phone calls and hear people's voices...And, “every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God." Philippians1:3 NLT