Hey everyone! Things have been absolutely insane and AMAZING over the last 5 months! Our son moved in January 29th, he was 8 and a half months old and adorable! He turned 1 in May and we have so enjoyed being parents! Well... mostly enjoyed being parents... haha. Adjusting to parenthood is hard, especially when helping a child adjust to a new home and family... We have had some crazy, difficult attachment and separation issues, but not ever considered going back to how things were. There have been times, now that he is learning to have an opinion, when I cried (alot) because I didn't know what to do. But, I have never thought about Samuel as "someone else's child" or been resentful or regretful that we brought him into our home.... I have questioned my sanity or my ability to be a mother, but I think that is normal when we forget to let God do the parenting through us... :) I was recently asked to to share something I had posted along these lines on my facebook page for a friend, so here it is:
This is a blog post titled "To parents of small children: Let me be the one who says it out loud," a post about loving our small children, but being exhausted in every sense of the word. I posted it a few days ago, but my son has started throwing
tantrums and refusing to sleep... I have read this like 8 times this
week and cried every time. I keep trying to remind myself I'm not a bad
mother just because I'm hormonal and want to cry constantly. I will say
that if I hear "enjoy this time with him," a sarcastic "welcome to
motherhood," or "you'll miss this season of your son's life" again, I
will have to not be friends with whoever you are until this season is
over. I'm glad you who are parents are passed this and don't remember
how awful it is, but I can't wait until we get passed it and I'm missing
the good things about this age and forgetting the tears I've cried
everyday this week because I refuse to let my child run over me....
I
love my son desperately and wouldn't trade him for the world, but I'll
really like him more when he starts sleeping again and stops screaming
at me....
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/blackberry/p.html?id=3209305
I say all of this to let everyone know that it is ok to be transparent... Not everyone has easy children, not everyone has an easy time being patient all the time, and not everyone has it easy.... I love my son more than I ever thought possible and I am so grateful for him! Sometimes, it is the biggest things God gives us that are the hardest to be thankful for... I also want to say that, if you are married and having a hard time getting pregnant, please take time to appreciate your spouse... We have had a hard time becoming parents and all we wanted for so long was that, and now we realize that we didn't appreciate each other enough... PLEASE ENJOY EVERY MOMENT! I know that is a dumb thing to say, because I was there, too. But I now wish that I had listened when I heard it before. If you have children, make your spouse your priority, it is vital for your child's future that they see you loving your spouse. :)
Monday, June 24, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Life is beautiful!!
My life is now full of poo, throw-up, tears, and tantrums... But that is totally outweighed by the smiles, giggles, snuggles, and slobbery kisses! I am so loving being a mom, even on the days that I am overwhelmed to tears... ;) The process of adopting this sweet ball of crazy joy has been such an eye- and heart-opening gift for us. I am honored that we would be chosen to be this boy's parents, and amazed at how God is already using him, even at 10 months of age. We have been able to share our story with so many people and minister to them in the process, all because of the joy people see in his eyes! I don't have a lot to say today, but I just know that having an amazing man doing life with me has been one of those things I know God gave me so that we can be a "power couple" and follow His path together!! Now, we get to be a "power family" because we are walking out His will for all of us through this!
God shows us His love for us in the most amazing, unexpected ways, and loving this child as my own has shown me a little more about how much the Father loves us! Romans 9:8 (ESV) says "This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring." Such a fitting scripture for how He accepts us according to the Promises and adopts us.... This child is our child of promise, the one that has become our answer to prayer, and he counted as our offspring now. Remember that no matter where you are in life, when you become His child, you are always His child and He loves you dearly. :)
God shows us His love for us in the most amazing, unexpected ways, and loving this child as my own has shown me a little more about how much the Father loves us! Romans 9:8 (ESV) says "This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring." Such a fitting scripture for how He accepts us according to the Promises and adopts us.... This child is our child of promise, the one that has become our answer to prayer, and he counted as our offspring now. Remember that no matter where you are in life, when you become His child, you are always His child and He loves you dearly. :)
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Samuel Jeffrey
Samuel means God answered our prayers. Jeffery means God's divine peace. This is what we are naming our son. The name he was given at birth means "terror, or god of fear" and there is no way we will speak that over him.When we got word that this boy was available and found out his name was Deimas, I immediately looked up what it meant. We were calling him Baby D at first because we didn't like what his name meant and our last name starts with D, too. We just kept praying about what his name should be. When we had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months, we decided when we did, if it was a boy, his name would be Samuel. We had been praying for a child and it was getting pretty emotional and hard to have faith... I wasn't thinking about naming our adopted son Samuel, I just wasn't really putting the pieces together. :)
Then I was looking through a jewelry catalog and saw a necklace that simply said 1 Samuel 1:27 on it. I looked it up in the New Living Translation, which says "I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and He has granted my request." I don't think it could have been more clear to me that this was that child. We hadn't been approved yet, we didn't even know how the process of changing his name worked yet, we just both agreed that Samuel was his name. We started speaking that verse over our lives and every time we said his name we were claiming that God had answered our prayers.
We don't know what his middle name is right now, but I knew it needed to be something that means peace. There are so many stories of redemption and deliverance in the Bible that involve God changing someone's name to something that spoke over them a fulfilled purpose. I prayed about it for a week, then looked at a baby name website where you can put in what you want your baby's name to mean and it lists the names that mean anything close. I simply entered the word 'peace' There were some weird names, then I saw Geoffrey, and I knew. We prefer Jeffery as the spelling, but the meaning is the same, God's divine peace.
I hadn't really thought about it, but one of my best friends said that she loved that we were part of Christ's redemption story for this baby. At that moment, it became clear that all of our heartache and tears were for a reason, to love this child and raise him as God's. I've cried many tears of joy over being chosen for this amazing role as this child's mother, and I know that we would never have made the decisions leading up to this if we hadn't gone through the trials of temporary infertility.
Through this, I hope you understand that God's plan may not make sense, and we may want to give up sometimes. But giving up on what He has at the end of that particular trial may be giving up on being someone else's path to the Savior...
Friday, January 4, 2013
Declare it!!
Hey, I know it's been a while since I've written... and, quite frankly, I'm ashamed of the reasons. I am learning that I should share, even when I am struggling to find the positive. I should be sharing our story as we go, because we learn and grow through the tough times, not just when things are good. I am constantly having to regain perspective and remind myself that I am not in control... I am also having to remind myself to relinquish control because, even though it is just as hard every time, God's plans always work better!
My newest life nugget is about declaring God's plans and promises for our lives, instead of constantly asking Him to do things for us... My husband and I have been reading Relentless by John Bevere, a book about praying without ceasing, and having courage and being unstoppable. In this book, he discusses Ephesians 1:19-20, "I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms." This means that we have been given the same power through Christ, meaning it has already been given. This leads me to my story.
As you know, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about a year and a half. About 6 months ago, we began this adventure of adoption, because we really felt God was leading us down this road for the current place we're in... We prayed and took classes and prepared for a little boy who is 6 years old, only to find out that he was going to live with family in another state. This led us to the realization that our hearts had been opened to a child we didn't birth, and had no idea who they would be... So we continued our adventure, not knowing where it would lead... We tried to submit our information for a 2 year old little boy, only to find out we had waited 1 day too late to decide to pursue other options. Then we had to opportunity to submit our paperwork for a sibling group with a 5 year old girl and 7 month old boy, or a 1 year old Asian girl who sounded amazing. We are not set up for more than one child in our current home, so the 2 were not an option. I wanted to say yes to the little girl, and in my haste was upset when my husband said no. He told me, he really felt like it was going to be a little boy. After being very upset with him for a couple days, I remembered all the times his discernment has won over my pride and lack of logic...
The way it works is that if you submit your information to be considered for a child, you are not allowed to try for another until you have been officially denied. The process usually takes 2-3 weeks. So, about a week and a half after fighting with my husband because I desperately wanted to say yes to the 1 year old girl, we got a phone call from our worker at the adoption agency. She said she had a 7 month old little boy who was perfectly healthy and happy, with no ties to biological family. We submitted our information about an hour after she had received the email. We prayed and declared him as our son for 3 weeks, not wavering in our words, and not really saying, "please God give us this child." Just thanking him for our son and declaring 1 Samuel 1:27 over him: "I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request." 3 and a half weeks later, we got the phone call that this child is going to be ours!!!!!!!! He will be in our house by the beginning of February. We have yet to meet him, but we have perfect peace that this was God's plan all along!
The moral of the story is that God has already granted us authority, and He has a divine plan for us, we just have to accept that we are His children. We have to claim what is already ours, and stop just timidly asking for things. :)
Next week I will share about our son's name and the awesomeness that is God's love and redemption!
My newest life nugget is about declaring God's plans and promises for our lives, instead of constantly asking Him to do things for us... My husband and I have been reading Relentless by John Bevere, a book about praying without ceasing, and having courage and being unstoppable. In this book, he discusses Ephesians 1:19-20, "I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms." This means that we have been given the same power through Christ, meaning it has already been given. This leads me to my story.
As you know, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about a year and a half. About 6 months ago, we began this adventure of adoption, because we really felt God was leading us down this road for the current place we're in... We prayed and took classes and prepared for a little boy who is 6 years old, only to find out that he was going to live with family in another state. This led us to the realization that our hearts had been opened to a child we didn't birth, and had no idea who they would be... So we continued our adventure, not knowing where it would lead... We tried to submit our information for a 2 year old little boy, only to find out we had waited 1 day too late to decide to pursue other options. Then we had to opportunity to submit our paperwork for a sibling group with a 5 year old girl and 7 month old boy, or a 1 year old Asian girl who sounded amazing. We are not set up for more than one child in our current home, so the 2 were not an option. I wanted to say yes to the little girl, and in my haste was upset when my husband said no. He told me, he really felt like it was going to be a little boy. After being very upset with him for a couple days, I remembered all the times his discernment has won over my pride and lack of logic...
The way it works is that if you submit your information to be considered for a child, you are not allowed to try for another until you have been officially denied. The process usually takes 2-3 weeks. So, about a week and a half after fighting with my husband because I desperately wanted to say yes to the 1 year old girl, we got a phone call from our worker at the adoption agency. She said she had a 7 month old little boy who was perfectly healthy and happy, with no ties to biological family. We submitted our information about an hour after she had received the email. We prayed and declared him as our son for 3 weeks, not wavering in our words, and not really saying, "please God give us this child." Just thanking him for our son and declaring 1 Samuel 1:27 over him: "I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request." 3 and a half weeks later, we got the phone call that this child is going to be ours!!!!!!!! He will be in our house by the beginning of February. We have yet to meet him, but we have perfect peace that this was God's plan all along!
The moral of the story is that God has already granted us authority, and He has a divine plan for us, we just have to accept that we are His children. We have to claim what is already ours, and stop just timidly asking for things. :)
Next week I will share about our son's name and the awesomeness that is God's love and redemption!
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