Lately, things have been changing, in so many ways. I am finally opening myself up to realizing that it is ok to ask for help. Our 3 year old started preschool and we hired a part-time nanny to help keep things in order, and allow me to breathe for a few hours every week. I has been the most amazing thing we've done since we became parents, I am not going to lie to you.
Since Sam moved in 3 years ago, I've been in denial about the fact that I should ask for help when I need it. Feeling like I should be ok. After all, we prayed to be parents for a very long time. "I'm supposed to love every minute of this, and be better at it," is what I've been telling myself. So, for 3 years, I have just been telling myself that I was doing it all wrong because every second wasn't amazing and blissful.
This is such a lie! I don't know why I let myself believe for 3 years that I was not enough! Being a mother is an honor, and we are so very blessed by the fact that God has allowed us the opportunity to parent these amazing boys! That doesn't mean it is always easy, though, because the path that God puts us on is usually not a cake walk. He allows us to be in situations that glorify Him. What about life being easy glorifies Him? He can only be glorified when we realize that what we do on our own is not enough. By surrounding ourselves with like-minded, like-hearted, and like-spirited individuals, He works in amazing ways! He never intended our lives to be lived in seclusion.
This week we met with a fertility specialist, again. (Because 2 boys under 4, a Jack Russell, and a German Shepherd puppy aren't enough chaos, of course.) It feels different this time. Not because of anything crazy, it's not like "I feel in my spirit that this is it" or anything along those lines. I think it is more because I have peace about where we are, finally. I am not living in stress 24/7. I have finally been able to let go of my unrealistic expectations of myself. I have also been able to get things under control in our house. By allowing myself to ask for help and hire the best nanny/friend a mom could have, I can finally breathe again.
Let off the pressure to do things on your own, whether it be raising children, starting a new business, starting a new ministry, just day-to-day life, or surviving heartbreak. As believers, we are supposed to do life together, support each other, be the village! We are living in the loneliest generation ever, because Pinterest, Facebook, the Internet, and everywhere else we look, people are only showing us the perfect parts of their lives. Do not hold yourself to those standards. We are imperfect people and anyone who tries to convince you they never struggle, well, they are liars.
As we start this fertility journey again, we ask that you be in agreement in prayer with us. But, we also ask that you share your struggles with us, that we can be in agreement with you, as well. We want to be your village. I will keep you updated as things progress, and I so look forward to walking with you on your journeys!
With love!
Mikyhla
