In my last post, I talked about how I was realizing how awkward I am. I'd like to reign that statement in a little, it might be too broad. I think the actual truth is that I'm really horrible at small talk, like really bad, guys. I don't like awkward silences so I try to find other things to talk about, but it's usually even more awkward than the silence. So, I take the boys to playdates and kind of hang around and listen and try to find things to talk about, and end up just feeling even more awkward.
It's not because I feel intimidated, really. I mean, if you've ever met me, you know I am not afraid to talk to people, by any means. I'm probably the one who is a bit overwhelming for most people at first. As a matter of fact, when I met my husband the first time, I'm pretty sure he didn't want anything to do with my in-your-face intensity. I have noticed, though, that as you get to know new people, there is a ton of small talk and awkwardness involved... And I am just not a fan.
I need good, hard, heart talks. I want to know you, what God has done for you, find out your goals and dreams, hear about the hard stuff you deal with, and understand your heart. I'm not sure how to get past small talk, ever. I feel like I end up talking more about my family and my life and the things God has planned for us, and then other people don't have much to say... I don't want to monopolize conversations, I want to let you into my world and find like-minded friends. Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." That's the type of friendships I desire, the ones where I'm not afraid to say "I've had a hard day, can I cry?" I also want friends who aren't afraid to say the same to me.
Hebrews 10:24-25 (NLT) says, "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." You know what this says to me? There isn't time for shallow and superficial relationships. We need to be building each other up and encouraging one another to guide others to the Kingdom. Helping each other find His heart for us and understanding His love, that we might show it to others. I am posting this verse on my mirror so I can pray to be this type of friend, and to bury these words in my heart. Matt 12:34b (NLT), "...For whatever is in your heart determines what you say."
I pray that I can be a friend who edifies those around me and not be the one people come to for gossip. I also pray that women will find hope in this post. Be friends with each other. Be open and honest about the hard stuff. Being a woman isn't easy as it is, with so many emotions and feelings and such, so be understanding of other women. Being a mom isn't easy, so don't judge other moms whose shortcomings and opinions are simply different from your own. It is so important to know that we don't journey alone. I make a point to be friends with other women who struggle with infertility so that we can talk and have someone who understands the heartache. I also make a point to be friends with pregnant women and women who have lots of kids, because I need to learn to rejoice through the hurt and be thankful for what God is doing in others' lives.
I love you and I'm so thankful for you. Thanks for reading, feel free to share what God has been doing in your life and how He connects you with other people to create meaningful relationships!
